DJ NOW EQUIPPED WITH MILITARY-GRADE EMP JAMMER TO 'SAVE THE DANCE FLOOR'

DJ NOW EQUIPPED WITH MILITARY-GRADE EMP JAMMER TO 'SAVE THE DANCE FLOOR'

A growing number of Promoters have begun installing military-grade electromagnetic pulse devices in their booths in an effort to prevent clubbers from filming on their phones.

The controversial move comes as part of a wider campaign by dance music purists to return nightlife to its pre-smartphone glory days.

"It's just super necessary," explained one DJ, wiping what appeared to be blood from his nostril. "Sorry, bit of a migraine at the moment. Probably not enough water. But yeah, it's definitely worth it to save the dance floor."

The EMP devices, originally developed for military counter-surveillance operations, render all mobile phones within range completely inoperable. However, health officials have raised concerns that the jammers emit dangerous levels of radiation and are causing extreme distress to anyone within a 30-meter radius.

"Look, people just need to dance like it's the 90's," continued the DJ, pausing to collect several clumps of hair that had fallen onto his mixer. "Do you want a bit of that, mate? It's fresh. It's just falling off my head."

Detractors have pointed out that these are quite obviously highly radioactive devices that should not be in the hands of civilians, and that if DJs simply wanted to discourage filming, they could distribute stickers to cover camera lenses.